DON’T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA: It may be the worst kept secret in town but we hear that our friends at Restar Hospitality Group – the folks who have brought you Mac’s Steakhouse, Pomodoro, Bistro Cassis and lots more of the fine fun restaurants in our area and beyond – are in the market for a top notch Argentinian Chef. We also know that the forme Collage at 23 Wall Street was on the market. If you put dos and dos together, what do Fabio and Piero have up their sleeves? Buenos suerte caballeros.

COMPETITIVE EATING: Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas may be the best competitive eater in the world. Pound for pound, there is little doubt. Though not as well known as Nathan’s Famous champ Kobayashi, Thomas probably holds more competitive eating records than anyone else. Last year she earned well over $50,000 doing her thing. Even though eating contests normally have prizes from $1,000 to $5,000, Thomas has raised the bar and now attracts offers of $20,000 prizes. The 100-pound, 37-year-old Thomas holds the world record for chicken wing eating. The Black Widow has downed 8.31 pounds of Vienna sausages in 10 minutes; 46 dozen oysters - that’s 552 - in 10 minutes; and 44 Maine lobsters - 11.3 pounds of meat from the shell - in 12 minutes. She leaves the men wondering. Thomas holds records for 65 hard-boiled eggs in six minutes and 40 seconds; 167 chicken wings in 32 minutes, and 80 chicken nuggets in 5 minutes. One day she ate 21.5 grilled-cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes to win a title in San Diego; the next day she downed 35 bratwursts in 10 minutes to win in Wisconsin. When not traveling to eat, the Black Widow manages a Burger King. Nuff said?

ROYAL KEBOB: The foodie blogs rave about Royal Kebab on Jericho Turnpike, west of 110, describing the cuisine as very interesting Indo/Pak food. The chat makes us drool. The Chapli Kebab, shaped like a burger, is very spicy and pan fried, yielding a very thick “crunchy, gooey savory, sweet” crust. The Gola Kebab is a highly seasoned sausage shaped kebab of ground beef. Both the goat and chicken qorma are delicious and “different from the usual cashew yogurt curry.” The Behari Kebab consisting of shredded meat marinated in mustard oil and papaya then grilled over charcoal is “charred, crusty, sour, salty, but also mushy.” Others recommended the Saag and Tandoori shrimp.

HOT STUFF: Are you looking for excellent sauces, salsa, and chips? If so, you will want to check out My Favorite New Mexico Foods (MFNMF), which recently blew judges away with their authentic, all-natural New Mexican food line. In just seven days, My Favorite New Mexico Foods took home seven awards in a food tasting contest circuit, which ran from California to New Mexico. Of all their specialty products, the most acclaimed were their “Red Chile Sauce”, “Gulf of New Mexico Spicy Seafood Salsa” and “Taco and Dipping Salsa” that features only New Mexico green chilies and jalapenos. Their only retail outlet in New York is not so far in Ronkonkoma, “The Hot Sauce Shop is at 189B Portion Road just behind Ralph’s Italian Ice!! For directions call 631-467-ZEST. The Foodies just ordered a sampling of their goodies online at www.mfnmfoods.com. Their website even offers intriguing recipes including a low carb “Beach” Breakfast of Red Chile Sauce and shredded cheese atop eggs and Canadian bacon. Try it yourself – get hot!

MIX, MINGLE, BLEND: At Morton’s Steakhouse in Great Neck, discover how the best wines are blended to perfection. Complete with a wine kit and expert to guide your every move, this Meritage Wine Blending Seminar seminar will feature Franciscan Oakville Estates Magnificat as well as Morton’s signature hors d’ oeuvres. Friday Sept. 15 from 6pm 7:30pm. $45 pp, plus tax & tip - 516-498-2950.

QUESTION: What does 453.6 graham crackers make? Answer: 1 pound cake

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