Lobbying For Good Weather

Send asphalt… I didn’t need a newspaper to tell me that there’s a pothole epidemic on Long Island roads. I’ve been steering the Buick around a mess of them in my neighborhood, and have noticed a particularly bad batch on Park Avenue near Jericho Turnpike. Coming up that hill I feel like a slalom skier dodging one pit after another. I’m weaving so much that I keep thinking if there’s a police car behind the old Buick, I’ll surely get pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving. Now I’ve seen some pits out there big enough to swallow a family of raccoons, but I have to question one account I read in the local daily. A young woman griped about blowing a tire after she hit a pothole, then when she was returning from where she was going, blew another on the same pothole. Now really, I’ve never hit the same pothole twice, and certainly not from the opposite side of the road!

Speaking of asphalt… I see our superintendent of highways and the town board are back in court over who gets to spends the highway taxes we send them. I say let’s save the taxpayers some money and settle this the old-fashioned way with a contest of skill. Let the town board and Bill Naughton each put together a team and the team that fills the most potholes in the least amount of time wins. Done. Settled. And with no court costs!

Parade time… Hopefully one place you won’t find any potholes is along the route of Huntington’s St. Patrick’s parade. I’ll be out there this Sunday watching from my favorite viewing spot on the sunny side of the street. Can’t get enough of men in kilts, you know. Word is there are two newcomers to the parade this year: the NYPD Emerald Society Pipe Band – considered one of the best in the nation – and the NYPD Marching Band will bring a bit of blue to all that green. I just recommend to all you restaurant owners out there that you bring in some extra corned beef and cabbage because all those marchers will have to be fed.

Partly cloudy… with a chance of rain. As of Monday, that’s what the National Weather Service was predicting for parade day this Sunday. Is there anyone we can lobby to get that changed?

Water hazard… Speaking of water, I’d like to take a moment to remind everyone of a simple fact, cars do not like water! I’m no grease monkey, but even I know that water and metal don’t mix – they create rust. Then you’ve got all the moving parts, oil and electrical components. But don’t just take my word for it, my poor Buick has had trouble starting since fording several flooded roads last month. A family friend said it may be the distributor cap, or any number of parts that don’t take kindly to water. Most of the time it starts, eventually, but I’ve got to get my baby into a garage very soon if we’re in for some April showers.

Trusty Huntington line… Did you hear about the fire at the Brentwood LIRR station over the weekend? A friend of mine was on a train from Ronkonkoma that was held at Central Islip for about an hour and then sent back to Ronkonkoma. While everyone else waited for buses to take the commuters to Deer Park, she hopped in her car and drove all the way to the Huntington station, poor girl. Then Monday I read preliminary reports that LIRR service was suspended between Jamaica and Hicksville because a train hit a person. Rough few days for the Long Island Rail Road.